Bubble Wrap

Those who know me best and worst (meaning they know pretty much all there is to know about me, and they're still willing to be seen with me in public) have told me for many years that I should clad myself in an armor of bubble wrap.  I tend to agree.  Though I've never actually put this into practice.  Mainly because bubble wrap has the potential to be a little restrictive.  With the added bonus that I would look absolutely ridiculous.  And knowing myself, as I do, the bubble wrap would actually do little in the way of preventing any injury.  This is *me* we're talking about.

You know, the girl who broke her foot by stubbing her toe on her brothers shoes.  While he was wearing them.  The girl who innocently jumped off a piece of (somewhat dangerous...and rusty) play equipment (AT THE BEGINNING OF SUMMER BREAK) when I was 8, and ended up with stitches down to the muscle, ruining my entire summer.  The girl who, without fail, bumps, hits, kicks, stubs, or any other verb you can use, some piece of my body on a nearly daily basis.

So trust me...the bubble wrap ain't gonna help.

On Wednesday, one of my friends mentioned to me that she hadn't seen any recent Facebook postings about recent bodily damage, and was hopeful that this meant with more space, etc, that my feet were surviving my period of adjustment.

Oh, if only that were true.

Unfortunately, this sentiment could not be further from the truth. 

The truth being, if I were to post about all of the injuries incurred since I moved, well, I could easily write a novel.  A very gruesome novel. 

Still, not a day goes by that I haven't injured myself in some way, shape, or form.  In fact, in the 24 hours preceding said statement, I had, in two separate instances, stubbed 2 separate toes (same foot).  Once while helping my dad put together one of my bookshelf.  The other while making my bed.  I'd also scraped and bruised my left leg while fishing what will one day be the headboard in my guest room out of the shed.  And the ultimate injury: I hit my leg on...something, and ended up with a 4 inch bruise on my shin, with a scratch for a little decoration. 

Now, you might have noticed that I said "something" in the previous sentence.  Because said injury happened before I had had coffee.  And you all should know that nothing in the world of Johanna happens before I have coffee.  At least nothing good.  So I've been walking around for a few days, nursing my wound, and still having absolutely no idea what I had done to receive it. 

That is, until this morning. 

Because now, I have a matching bruise and scratch combo on my left shin.

The culprit?

My dishwasher door.

At least today it happened after I had coffee, so I at least remember the incident.

So, here's what I'm thinking.  I'm still not likely to walk around in public, or in private for that matter, wrapped in bubble wrap.  And I need to do some redecorating anyway.  How about I wrap all of my worldly possessions in bubble wrap?  I think it could make some interesting decor.  And if nothing else, it would certainly be a conversation piece. 

I think I'll start with that pesky little dishwasher, and see how that goes.