Driving Lessons

I have been driving for a long time.  20 years, in fact.  Ok, you might be looking at that a little cock-eyed, considering I'm still only 30, and the legal driving age in the state of Illinois is still 16.  And no, your math is not wrong.  I started driving when I was 10.  I also almost had my first accident at the age of 10, but was fortunately rescued by Paw.

Not only have I been driving a car for 2/3 of my life, I've been driving a 4-wheeler for 26 years.  Yes, at the ripe old age of 4, I started driving a full size ATV by myself.  So, the story goes something like this:  My dad had come back to the house for some reason, most likely lunch.  And he needed a ride back to the field he was working in.  My brother, who was 7 at the time, didn't want to go with my dad to drive the 4-wheeler back, but apparently I was willing, so my dad let me.  And I lived to tell about it.  Or, more appropriately, I lived to re-tell the story, because I don't actually remember this happening, being only 4 and all.  But my dad has told me the story often enough that I actually believe him. And every time I get on the 4-wheeler, I am greatly amused at the warning sticker that vehemently states that absolutely no one under the age of 16 is allowed to drive it.  Tee hee!

But there has been one form of driving that has eluded me most of my life.  Driving a tractor.  Yes, I grew up on a farm, where these things were driven all the time, but my chores leaned more towards the cooking and cleaning side of keeping the farm going than actually doing any of the hands on, in the field type of work.  I think there might have been a couple of times where I somehow limped a tractor from one side of the driveway to the other...but that's really about it.

A few weeks ago, I was helping my dad change some lights in one of our sheds.  I was sitting on the tractor, dad was in the bucket of the loader tractor, which I got to lift up so he could reach the lights.  Let's never say that my dad doesn't trust me.  And I kinda was able to move it forward and backward a few feet.  And when it was time to put it away, I told my dad I wanted to drive it to the other shed.  Let's just say, I finally got there.  After the tractor died 8 times (not kidding) and I'm pretty sure I never got it out of first gear.  But I did finally figure out what this "throttle" thing was that my dad kept telling me about.  And how it was used.

It wasn't long after that, I said to the dad "Dad, I want you to teach me how to drive a tractor.  I mean, real lessons." 

Considering I have a slight proclivity to get the lawn mower stuck in the mud (3 times so far) it might come in handy one of these days.  Plus, part of the whole reason for me living here is so I can help out.  And help out I shall.

The dad took a deep breathe, and said Ok, but not right now.  Then one day a little over a week ago, I was at the mom and dad's house, and the dad and I were doing some work on one of their flower beds, and tearing apart the old well house.  And the dad let me drive his awesome, adorable (yes, I really used the term adorable in reference to a tractor...but seriously...you should see it) orange Kubota tractor.  Now, as far as tractors go, it's really easy to drive.  It's an automatic, and you push on one foot lever to make it go forward, and a different one to make it go back.  Easy peasy.  However, when I tried the same trick I did with my dad's Impact Driver (I called immediately after using his and said "You have GOT to get me one of these, this is awesome!" and he started checking and found one that matches my drill on clearance, and voila, my very own impact driver) my desire to have a Kubota of my very own didn't seem to go to far.  Perhaps it was the slight cost difference between an impact driver and a tractor.  Psh. 

So now that I have the Kubota handled...it's time to move up in the world.  I'm now learning how to drive the 656, which is the one that I killed 8 times moving across the driveway.  It's the one that my dad hooks the auger wagon up to to load beans into the planter.  My job has been to sit on the tractor, and move it slightly forward or back so the auger will hover directly over the appropriate receptacle.  No big thing.  But I'm working my way up.  Yesterday afternoon, I got to move it from behind the planter, off to the side of the field.  In second gear, no less.  And then, at the end of the day yesterday, after doing a magnificent performance moving it forward and backward 1 foot in either direction appropriately, dad let me drive it from the field all the way back to the house.  All by myself.  And then, this morning, I got to drive it to the field, and back.  Still no accidents.  But I'm still learning. 

In fact, in the middle of writing this post, I had to go help dad again.  And I learned what the brakes are, and how to use them appropriately. 

Whodathunkit?

Brakes...useful???  This is me we're talking about.  The one who isn't allowed to learn how to put the lawn mower into high gear.  The one who was told that 4th gear was fast enough, when clearly there is a 5th gear!  It should be used!!!  Especially by me...at some point. 

I digress.  I may joke a bit about the whole tractor thing.  But really, I am absolutely in awe of them.  These beastly machines that can move about with near ballet like precision. 

When I took the tractor to the field this morning, I got to watch my dad plant the field for a little while.  A couple of years ago, my dad and his cousin bought a new planter together.  The first time I saw it in person, I literally was stuck in place, jaw on the floor, in utter amazement of this...thing.  The main reason is...well...it's massive. 

Now that I've actually seen this thing in motion, I'm even more in awe.

The beast looks something like this:

Photo courtesy of Farm Industry News

It's massive.  And to be able to drive it down the road, it has to fold up, sideways.  To say the least, it makes a bit of a statement going down the road.  Even now, the mere thought of dad backing this thing into the shed makes me a little dumbstruck.  Of course, when I said something to dad about it, he was like "meh, it's no big deal really."  That's the dad. 

But back to this morning.  Watching it go through the field, and execute near perfect pivot turns, the likes of which we were never able to really perfect back in my marching band days, is incredible.  And of course, the dad makes it look so easy to do. 

I don't know, maybe part of it is the fact that I'm and English Major (one who just had a hard time doing the math to figure out I've been out of college for 9 years...don't ask) and the engineering part of things that goes into building one of these is simply so foreign, I just can't image it.  But somehow, some incredibly smart person out there built it, and figured out how to make it work.  And that makes me glad that I really am an English Major, because I'm pretty sure I'd never have been able to come up with something like that. 

I'm also fairly certain that it's intimidating enough that I'll never ask dad if I can ever drive the tractor that pulls this thing. 

I'm sure he's glad for that fact. 

But for now, the on the job training continues.