Plan B

It's every hostesses worst nightmare.  It's 5pm, and the pork shoulder that I have been slaving over a hot crock pot all day to make...isn't cooked.  And my guests are supposed to arrive at 5:30.  Their mouths have been watering for pulled pork all day long.

This is exactly the type of scenario Home Ec in the 1950's prepared women for.  Whew.

Except I didn't take Home Ec in the 1950's.  I took Home Ec in the 90's.  After women started wearing shoulder pads.  So all I really learned what to do in class was how to (poorly) sew a dress.  Albeit, those skills came in handy when I sold sewing machines for a couple of years.  But that's little help when I have no decent food to serve the 4, hungry family members that are coming to dinner. 

I begin to panic.  I'm supposed to be the perfect hostess.  I'm all done up in my little black...t-shirt.  I actually brushed my hair.  So I didn't put any make-up on, but I promise, I had a good reason.  I've, err, had some, uh, skin iss...Ok, I just didn't feel like putting any make-up on.

Then I realize I'm not an hysteric.  So I defrost some chicken, and get the grill out.  I throw the green beans in the saute pan, cut up the potatoes.  And we're back in the game.  Except when I shook up the potatoes, you know, to get a good coat of oil all over them, I got twacked (yes, that is the technical term for what happened) in the face with a couple of pieces.  Apparently I did a poor job of sealing the zip loc bag.

But it's ok.  I wash my face (remember, no make up.  Smart cookie, I am) and reseal the bag, and go back to shaking.  Throw the potatoes in the oven, on my newly purchased no-stick foil, and head outside to light the grill.

Once outside, I realize that it's a bazillion degrees outside.  Ok, so it was actually in the 80's.  But I was wearing a black t-shirt (maybe I'm not so smart) and standing over a hot grill.  So it feels like it's a bazillion degrees outside.  Sweat is poring off my face.  Again, I'm glad I didn't waste time applying make-up, because it would certainly be gone by now.  Or even better, making me look scarier than a sad clown on a dreary night. 

Things are going well.  The chicken is cooking beautifully.  The potatoes are well on their way to being crisp, golden deliciousness.  And the green beans have a yum-tastic looking char on them.  No seriously, my beans are amazing.  Trust me.

Then I go outside to flip the chicken.  And then back out again to see how things are going.  And the chicken isn't cooking so beautifully anymore.  I check the grill.  The pint size propane tank on my smaller than my toolbox grill has run out.

Awesome.

I make the quick switch, and we're (I hope) back in the game. 

And the family arrives.  I immediately turn my tongs over to the dad, and give the family members that haven't been to my house in the last 10 years a tour.  Make sure dinner hasn't completely burned.  Pose for a picture or two (events at my house are apparently world renowned events where I just can't keep the paparazzi out.  And by paparazzi, I really mean my cousin, Earl.)  And then dinner is ready. 

Deep breathe. 

Chicken.

Potatoes.

Green Beans.

Cole Slaw.

Whew.  It's all here.  And better yet, it all tastes good.  But even better than that, I get to spend an evening hanging out with the family, who fortunately love me no matter how many errors occurred during the evening.  But no blood was drawn, so I'm still calling the evening a success.

And the pork eventually finished cooking, and smells amazing (the recipe - see below - is definitely a keeper) and now there's less work to do for Sunday dinner!!  Woohoo!!



Seriously...you should really try this recipe.  It's not just a "throw everything in the crock pot and let it cook all day" type of pork, like other recipes I have tried.  But the effort is totally worth it.  Just be careful with the onions, I ended up crying for an hour after cutting them up.

Courtesy of EatingWell.com:

Ingredients

• 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
• 3 large onions, thinly sliced
• 1/3 cup raw cane sugar, such as Demerara or turbinado (see Notes)
• 4 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano
• 1 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/3 cup cider vinegar
• 1 cup chili sauce, such as Heinz
• 1 1/2-3 teaspoons minced chipotle chile in adobo sauce (see Notes)
• 3 pounds boneless pork shoulder or blade (butt) roast, trimmed

Preparation

1. Heat oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add onions and cook, stirring occasionally, until they begin to soften, 3 to 6 minutes. Add sugar and continue to cook, stirring constantly, until the onions are golden brown, 6 to 8 minutes more. Add garlic, oregano, pepper and salt and cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Add vinegar and bring to a boil. Cook until mostly evaporated, 30 seconds to 1 minute. Remove from the heat and stir in chili sauce and chipotle to taste.
2. Place pork in a 4-quart (or larger) slow cooker and cover with the sauce. Cover and cook until the pork is almost falling apart, about 4 hours on High or 8 hours on Low.
3. Transfer the pork to a cutting board and shred using two forks. Stir back into the sauce.
4. Variation: Turn 3 cups leftover pulled pork into Pulled-Pork Torta. Preheat oven to 375°F. Coat a deep-dish pie pan or other 9-inch round baking dish with cooking spray. Heat 3 cups finely shredded Pulled Pork with Caramelized Onions (including sauce) just until warm. Drain one 14-ounce can no-added-salt diced tomatoes (reserve juice); combine with 1/4 cup diced Spanish-style chorizo (see Note) or pepperoni in a bowl. Mix well. Spread about 1/2 cup of the mixture in the prepared pan to cover the bottom. Top with one 8-inch flour tortilla (preferably whole-wheat). Spoon one-third of the remaining mixture over the tortilla. Top with another tortilla. Repeat twice, topping with a fourth tortilla. Drizzle the reserved tomato juice over the top and cover with foil. Bake for 20 minutes. Remove the foil, sprinkle 3/4 cup shredded Monterey Jack cheese on top and continue baking until the cheese is melted and the torta is bubbly, about 20 minutes more. Let cool for 10 minutes. Serve sprinkled with 1/4 cup each finely chopped scallions and chopped fresh cilantro, if desired.

Tips & Notes

• Make Ahead Tip: Prepare through Step 1, cover and refrigerate for up to 2 days. To finish, bring the sauce to a simmer and continue with Steps 2 & 3. The cooked pork can be refrigerated for up to 3 days. | Equipment: 4-quart or larger slow cooker

• Notes: Raw cane sugar (such as Sugar in the Raw) is steam-cleaned, coarse-grained and light brown in color, with a slight molasses flavor. Find it in the natural-foods section of large supermarkets or at natural-foods stores.
• Chipotle chiles in adobo sauce are smoked jalapeños packed in a flavorful sauce. Look for the small cans with Mexican foods at large supermarkets. Once opened, they’ll keep up to 2 weeks in the refrigerator or 6 months in the freezer.
• Note: Spanish-style chorizo is a seasoned, fully cooked smoked pork sausage. Find it near other cured sausages in well-stocked super markets or online at tienda.com.

Nutrition

Per serving (without bun): 358 calories; 18 g fat ( 6 g sat , 9 g mono ); 90 mg cholesterol; 18 g carbohydrates; 9 g added sugars; 25 g protein; 3 g fiber; 664 mg sodium; 510 mg potassium.
Nutrition Bonus: Zinc (31% daily value), Vitamin C (17% dv)
Carbohydrate Servings: 1 1/2
Exchanges: 1 1/2 carbohydrate (other), 3 medium fat meat